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Sometimes when I look back on my life in the US, I'm unhappy happy with it. And I'm unhappy with how I was. I always feel like I push people away, I don't mean to but somehow I constantly lose friends.. I can't even remember a time where I had a best friend.. I don't know, I just don't feel sometimes like I have a connection with people. I always feel rather stoic and emotionless. I suppose that if I was more outgoing I would probably have friends. I've tried being outgoing, but I don't know how. Plus I never know what to say.. I feel like I'm a bad friend, that I let people down. I don't mean to and I don't want to, but I have this feeling that it happens. Do I push people away from me? Did I push you away? I'm sorry if I did, it was unintentional.
I hate that I'm reserved and I hate that I'm not outgoing.. it makes people think that I'm aloof or "better than them" (as somebody told me...). I'm not like that at all.. I can't even recall a time when I talked to somebody about how I felt or told them something in confidence. I want to be a better friend and have closer relationships with my friends, because I feel like a lot of those relationships are drifting away...
Bref (sorry for the interjection of a French word, but I couldn't remember the word in English), I guess I just suck at social situations... |
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| happy april fool's day.
i made a myspace because it seemed intriguing.. add me if you like:
http://www.myspace.com/in_finity
and this still interests me:
http://kevan.org/johari?name=Rebecca+W | | |
| not much to write about, but i'd figured i'd update anyway.
last week was hectic, considering i had like 5 tests and then one french homework. and this week is going to be crazy because we are doing the tpe, the group project. but pretty soon it's vacation and i'll be off somewhere with my mom and then my dad.
last weekend we celebrated my friend's 17th birthday and also went to the film festival in our town. for the film festival we saw "brigade du tigre" (french movie) which was surprisingly good and had really cool music. also at the film festival: there were famous french actors.. which was interesting to see.
only two months and a week left. i'm ready to come home.
this interests me:
http://kevan.org/johari?name=Rebecca+W | | |
| so i'm back for the most part.
i'll write more later, but as of now i'm staying at my friend marion's house. :) | | |
| Mural picture count: 0
I just got back from Paris yesterday with my dad. It was really weird to see him after 6 months (can you believe it? 6 months already!) because I had gotten used to not seeing him. Anyway, since he hadn't been to Paris before I showed him around to all of the big sites. We visited the Louvre, Musée d'Orsay, the Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, and the Pompidu Center (which I had never seen before). We had a nice time and I was sad to see him go.
Je viens de retourner de Paris hier avec mon père. C'était bizarre de le voir après 6 mois (je n'arrive pas à le croire! 6 mois!) parce que je m'habitue de ne pas voir ma famille. Alors, parce que il n'est jamais allé à Paris, je lui ai montré tous les grands endroits. On a visité le Louvre, le Musée d'Orsay, la Tour Eiffel, Notre Dame et le Centre Pompidu (que je n'ai jamais vu). C'était franchement genial et j'étais triste qu'il est parti.
I'm still on vacation which is nice, but I still haven't started my homework for school.. however it is mainly English and math homework. I really can't believe that I've been here for practically 6 months already and that I'm leaving in 3 months. And then after that I'll be doing my senior year and then college the year after that. It's a little bit scary.
J'ai encore des vacances, mais je n'ai même pas commencé mes devoirs.. cependant la plupart est les devoirs d'anglais et de maths. Je n'arrive pas à croire que je suis là depuis 6 mois et que je pars au debut juin. Après, je serai en terminal et ensuite c'est l'université. C'est un peu effrayant. | | |
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